I Wrote This While Deleriously Tired…

So here’s a question I have… Why is it that so many ex-Christians that I know, personally, have such a deep knowledge of the Bible? Why do so many of them have a deeper knowledge of the Bible than so many of my currently Christian friends?
Most Christians I know can pull at the big picture of the Bible, but that isn’t entirely fair, is it? During my religious Searching (I’d say a capital ‘s’ is warranted there), I find so many quotes in major parts of the Bible that should change the big picture, but you would never see them in the “Children’s Bible.” That being said, why does it seem that so many people know only about as much about the Bible that one would find in the “Children’s Bible”?

I am not an Atheist, or a Christian, I am just a seeker. I want to find the Truth. Will I ever find it? No, I don’t believe anyone ever finds the Truth with a capital T. They can find what they believe to be the Truth, sure, I won’t deny that.

But that’s the point. Why do we argue, and fight, and kill, in the name of something that is truly, absolutely, unprovable? Why is it so hard for so many to follow the pillar of their own religion (The Golden Rule, for Christians). When Jesus came upon an adulteress, what was his response? Even if you aren’t Christian, you probably just thought about how he did not cast a stone. He did not condemn her. And yet today, in what is called the Bible Belt, homosexuality is being condemned, and people are being persecuted daily, and often in the name of religion.

Richard Dawkins related, in his book The God Delusion (definitely strongly atheist leaning, but I read from both sides), that the most terrible hate mail he receives is often from people professing to be strong Christians. He receives death threats in the name of God.

Does that sound Biblical? Sure, they may be a small minority, but from whence comes their vitriolic hatred? How do we find the root of this weed, and pluck it out?

People who read and understand the Bible, who stand on the principles of love and justice for all, I love you all. People who pick very short passages, often a single out of context verse, to justify your hatreds, I hate you. I am not going to say I am holier than thou, I am not going to say I follow the Bible to the letter. I am not fettered by the trappings of a single book. I will hate those who cause suffering to others, no matter their creed. Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Agnostic, Buddhist (if you hate people, you are probably doing it wrong), doesn’t matter.

And yet, if you love others, and try to remove suffering from the world instead of bringing it in, whether you are Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic, Buddhist, then I will return that kindness.

If you are cruel to me, if your hatred tries to touch my own personal soul? I may hate you, but I will respond only with kindness. All humans deserve that.

I think that’s the point I was trying to get across with this whole thing. Be nice to everyone. If you aren’t nice, I will still be nice back to you — but I don’t have to like it.

This was really rambling. I am rereading it and I realize that this post probably makes less sense than a Rube-Goldberg machine made purely of cooked pasta. I am sick, and my brain isn’t working. Don’t care. Gonna post.

4 thoughts on “I Wrote This While Deleriously Tired…

  1. Having the knowledge it NOT the key, understanding and applying is key. Alone with wisdom from GOD, submission and repentance. Until then you can have all the knowledge in the world and still lose your soul.

    And what is an “Ex-Christian” ? Are we denouncing ourselves due to the fact that our knowledge is not working for us, how insane is that. How can one turn from GOD;what else is there?

    Lastly, know that GOD himself will find you.


    • I was raised in God from birth until I was 18. When I was released into the wide, wide world, I was unprepared (personally) for what I would find. Soon, all of the information of the world was available to me, at my fingertips. And when I carefully considered all of that information, I could no longer find God.

      If He, himself, will find me, I am open to it… But at this time, I am not sure I believe in a God. If I do believe in a God, it is not the Christian God. I find I more believe in a much more passive God… I have no animosity towards Christianity in general, but there are many within that I take issue with. As has been colloquially stated in the past, “I don’t hate God, but I find sometimes that I hate His fan club.”

      It is difficult for me to conceive of a God of Love who, in various parts of the Bible, denounced Homosexuality. It is hard for me to believe in a God of Love who, in many parts of the Bible (and concentrated heavily in the Book of Judges), orders the killing of men, women, children, animals, crops, and the destruction of buildings, just because the people had the temerity to settle on the land that (they did not know) God had set aside for his chosen people.

      I do not believe the Christian God is a God of love, but that may be my lack of understanding. I do not know.


      • Information of the world, we are born into sin ” the world” some have sought out our lord and savior and has accepted him as that and developed a personal relationship with him and are not perfect and still learning and coming to understand his ways. But, the rest have not, considered him at all. So, seek GOD for yourself and not what man has provided, remember you have free-week and that means you have a choice to believe or not.
        And yes the bible speaks of those thing you mentioned, but have not you own understanding as to why these things are allowed.

        I truly believe there is a GOD, I also believe thT he gave his only begotten son that I may have eternal life, who am I that I should not suffer.

        Please seek GOD for yourself, but first you must believe that his lord and savior


  2. When searching for something that one cannot see, if you believe it is there, you can find it.

    I am searching for Truth, for information. I do not pretend to know what is there, so I grasp around, feeling. If my hand touches something where my eyes see not, then I would be open to God. But as I feel around, I have found nothing invisible that fills the traditional description of God.

    I continue to search.


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